Link Dump - Christmas week

Hopefully your Christmas shopping is done, and you're looking forward to Santa's arrival. Here's a mish-mash of stuff to keep you entertained for several seconds:



Captain EO is returning to Disneyland in 2010 - rejoice! I can't wait to see Anjelica Houston, that bumbling Hooter, and pre-icky Michael Jackson again.

This nightmarish sand sculpture might keep you up at night. I have no info about it, but I can tell you that I now fear sand in new and non crotch-related ways.

Martha Stewart eats In-and-Out, just like all the other smart people you know.

The Evolution of the Hipster hits you where it hurts, you fauxhemian you.



This disturbing finger food will be a hit at your Christmas or New Year's party.

Pee-Wee's Christmas special is streaming online. If you're feeling nostalgic, and you're high, it's perfect for you, maaaan.

It's okay to laugh at this poor girl who cries after watching Return of the Jedi. "But...what about R22222? *sniff*"

Finally, get a whiff of these gingerbread zombie cookies inspired by Left 4 Dead 2, my current obsession.


I'm off to Vegas for a non-traditional Christmas [good food and the pinball hall of fame] - can't wait!

Christmas movies that don't make me wanna puke

I kind of hate a lot of Christmas movies. Most of them make my Grinchy heart grow two sizes smaller. Singing carols, faux family harmony, and the oh-my-gosh-that-was-Santa! ending all make me want to punch someone. So here's the list of movies that I'll be watching over the next week:



1) Die Hard. I love the Die Hard movies, and Bruce Willis in general. While the movie isn't Christmas-themed, it does take place during a Christmas party and it is awesome. Stuff blows up, Bruce Willis kicks ass and saves Christmas (and lives). Also, I really like Reginald VelJohnson for some reason, so I'm always happy to watch him.



2) Batman Returns. Tim Burton, I love you. If I could live in Gotham during Christmas time, I would. Catwoman is delightfully...catty (I'm sorry), and Danny DeVito is awesome and gross as always.



3) The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tim Burton, I really love you. Nightmare has gotten overexposed in the last few years (Jack Skellington is my homie t-shirts. Really.), but it really is a Christmas movie more than a Halloween movie.



4) Gremlins. It scared the bejeebus out of me when I was a kid, but I'm a big girl now and I want my own Gremlin. But when I get bored with it, I will totally feed it after midnight. Chaos, you are invited into my life.



5) How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Dr. Seuss, Chuck Jones, and Boris Karloff - that's it. That's all you need. Okay, this movie warms my heart a little; I love the sad dog, and those brave little Whos in Whoville.



6) Bad Santa. Everyone in the movie is an asshole except for the kid who might just be really stupid. This movie makes me even more misanthropic, and that's what I look for in a good Christmas movie.


7) Scrooged. I've seen this so many times, it's lost some magic for me, but it's still a good take on a boring Christmas classic.


8) Go. This movie is so painfully 90s, but it does take place on Christmas Eve, and the plot revolves around a drug deal gone-looong. It's not the best movie ever, but it's better than a second viewing of "Painfully Cheerful Christmas Special with Character Stereotypes for Kids"

There's one more that I know I'm missing, but all this talk of Christmas is making me need to kick something, so I'm going to go take care of that.

Christmas Crumpet (the elf)

A few weeks ago I blogged about some Christmas activities around Southern California. I'm pleased to report that both were a lot of fun!

First up: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton. This was a lot different than Night of the Living Dead since they took a "serious" movie and turned it into a slapstick, screwball comedy, but it was really silly and enjoyable. Victor Stiles, the man who played Billy in the original movie, was there to talk about his experience making the movie back in 1964. He said that he likes the play at the Maverick a lot better than the film. For me, half the fun was looking at the set, props, and costumes and trying to figure out how it was made. Complex machines were made from Christmas decorations and 5 gallon buckets, and the robot was made from silver insulating fabric and washing machine hoses. After the play, I even got my picture taken with Santa and all his new Martian friends. (ooh, spoiler alert! Sorry about that.)


Next: David Sedaris' SantaLand Diaries at the Blank Theater in West Hollywood.


This was my first time at the Blank Theater, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was a very intimate setting, but it didn't feel cramped. We got there early, so we got to sit in the front row, and at one point I was treated to David/Crumpet the Elf/Blisters the Elf screaming just a foot away my face - it was terrifying! Nicholas Brendon did a good job of channeling that deadpan David Sedaris charm, and he really worked on that stage. Wearing a ridiculous costume of candy cane-striped pantyhose, green velvet shorts and jacket, and a velvet hat, he showed us all the terrible and undignified things that happen when working as an elf in a busy department store. I was burned by a horrible one-man show in the past (though I won't mention which one), so I was really apprehensive about this show, but Brendon is definitely worth seeing.

SantaLand Diaries is a good show for people who like sarcastic, dry humor, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is good for kids, and people who like over-the-top silliness. Either way, I think you'll have a good time. Get your tickets for either one and let me know what you think!

Things from Sandy Claw's list

I love to shop for gifts, but I hate to be out amongst humanity...especially the kind of humanity that argues over parking spots at a busy mall. Almost all of my shopping is done online, so here are a few spooky, macabre, or odd things that would be perfect for your weird friends. If you're an Amazon prime member like me, you'll get free shipping on most of the items on this list.


Photo from an Amazon reviewer.

Got a vampire fan on your list? Check out this Dracula pop-up book. It's less than $20! Done in the style of a graphic novel, this pop-up book is based on Bram Stoker. It happens to be on my own wish-list this year. Cough.

Vampire fans will also appreciate a set of Vampire Poetry Magnets - only $12, and you don't need a membership to get free shipping.



Every pirate fan should have their own Dread Pirate game. I've never personally had the pleasure of winning, but I do enjoy the little sack of treasure, and plundering enemy ships.




If you know a fan of creepy murderesses, get them a copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle. I just finished it, and I really recommend it. It's a very quick read, so you're not committing your friend to a 400 page brick, and I think anyone who likes dark themes would appreciate the beautiful writing.




If your friend likes robots, why not get him something practical like this mini robot vacuum cleaner, or this Roomba robot vacuum. Both are cute, both are helpful, and both have the potential to become sentient and take over the world.



Get your favorite gloomy person their own deck of unhappiness. Gloom is one of my favorite games - the art is cool, the transparent cards make the game unique, and the game changes a little with the many expansion packs.



If you're shopping for a zombie fan - rejoice! There are roughly a million things you can gift them with. Here are a few of my personal favorites.


A medkit shirt from Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2. Lovelovelove this game, and this shirt is super cool.


Mall of Horror is a game that has you escaping a horde of zombies in a zombie-infested shopping mall. It's similar to actual Christmas shopping, but you'll get to screw your friends over by forcing them out from safe rooms. Game play takes a while, so it's not fast-paced like Gloom, but it's still fun.


Perhaps your friend gets the vapors at the very thought of those unmentionable creatures. If you think Jane Austin is tedious, you might enjoy this mash-up called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I wish there was a way to combine Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth. Yeah...that'd be nice.

Hello, winter festivites!

With Thanksgiving behind us, I can now admit that I am really feeling Christmas this year! It's not usually my favorite, but this year I've decided to celebrate the holiday in my own way. I've decorated my tree with my favorite ornaments from years past, plus bats, skulls, spiders and spider webs. Borrowing strongly from the decor at Haunted Mansion Holiday, I think it adds a macabre yet festive touch to my living room.

Let's not forget about the activities - there are good ones this year. I'm not a fan of the carols and typical Christmas songs - I want irreverent, sarcastic, or odd Christmas activities. First up is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton, then it's the SantaLand Diaries at the Blank Theater Company in Los Angeles. I've never been to either, but I am expecting great things from SCCtM, and I love David Sedaris' style of humor, so there are high hopes for that as well.



That's all that's planned for the month so far, but I hope both activities are great.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving tends to be overlooked since it's so close to the mega-holiday Christmas, but there are a few Thanksgiving-themed movies to watch if post-meal football and family-treacle aren't your thing.

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - A John Hughes classic with Steve Martin and John Candy struggling to get home for Thanksgiving.

The House of Yes - A dark comedy with Parker Posey playing a mentally unstable woman who freaks out when her brother comes home for Thanksgiving with a fiancee.

Dutch - Adorable young Ethan Embry has to travel with his mom's boyfriend Al Bundy [aka Ed O'Neill] to get to Thanksgiving dinner.


Addams Family Values - The movie doesn't center around Thanksgiving, but there is a memorable scene from summer camp where Pugsley dresses up like a turkey, and Wednesday is Pocahontas.

Link dump

Here are some interesting links that have been collecting dust:

A Scooby-Doo/Zombie mashup tee - truly fantastic
An a-mazing homemade tauntaun Halloween costume
Classic spooky cartoons (#1 & #6 are two of my all-time faves)
Boy eats Girl - an enjoyable Irish zombie movie. Reviews are mixed, but it was enjoyable.
A beautiful (but sadly inedible) bone wedding cake
Vintage Halloween magazine covers
The bots with stuff part of the Shoebox blog
Zombie Christmas cards
Tiny AT-AT dog
UFO abduction lamp
Captain EO rumors (fingers crossed!)

Beautiful zombie photography

Since Halloween, we've talked of putting on more makeup and fake blood and going out. I really want to find a zombie walk in my area. For now, this will have to do. The photos are from the Zombie Fest and Walk of the Dead at Monroeville Mall in Monroeville, Pa. The very mall where "Dawn of the Dead" was filmed. You'll recognize it immediately.


It hasn't changed much.



Dragging the undead through the mall.



From the article: Derek Thompson (right), a 24-year-old machinist from Carrollton, Ohio, bought worms at a pet store and attached them — still writhing — to his face with pins, tape and liquid latex. “People get a kick out of the worms, especially when they touch them and didn’t know they’re real,” he said.



There are a lot more photos on the article page, as well as more explanation about the zombie walk and the history of the mall.

The seven stages of grief

Over the last three days you've probably experienced a range of emotions. First, you might be shocked that October is over, and Halloween gone. Then you might feel guilty about that local haunted house that you never visited, and those late-night kids who didn't get any candy. Then you might feel...a little angry. Why, stupid Christmas decorations, why are you in stores already? Then you can reflect on all those good times you had. October is a wonderful month - wasn't 2009 the best one ever? After that, you started to think "It's okay! There's always next year! Every day is Halloween! I'll make it through the next 364 days!" Congratulations, you've officially accepted November.

There are plenty of spooky things left to do. In my case, it's a backlog of Halloween-themed TiVo'ed shows like Food Network Challenge - Horror cakes. If you haven't watched it, try to catch it in reruns. My personal favorite didn't win because it was too humorous and not scary enough, but I maintain that moving cannibal cupcakes are very, very scary. I've also got roughly 43 more movies to watch from my Horror Movie Classics box set, and, at some point, the Halloween decorations come down. Oh, here I go into denial again...

Happy Halloween!

Hope everyone has a spooky and zombie-filled Halloween tomorrow!


Pumpkins carved by yours truly

If you're looking to make some last minute plans, here are my picks:

The Cellar - Trick or EAT dinner in Fullerton. The menu includes maggots, slaughterhouse drippings, and a graveyard mud souffle. YUM! Dinner is at 6:00pm, $49.99. Make reservations ASAP!

Frankenstein in Love also in Fullerton. I just discovered this a few days ago, and I'm hoping someone will go and report back.

But really, NOTHING could be better than the Night Of The Living Dead play back-to-back with Rocky Horror at the Maverick Theater.

If you feel like battling crowds, you could do the Universal Haunt. Definitely spring for the front-of-line pass!

Or if you just want to stay in and pass out candy to the kids, you could rent Trick 'r Treat. It's visually stunning, and not overly gory, but frankly, a bit disjointed. It's fun to watch, though, and I don't think anyone will be disappointed. Nothing really compares to some of the movies from the Horror Box Set. We've watched The Bat, Carnival of Souls, Night of the Living Dead, Little Shop Of Horrors, and The Last Man on Earth and I find them superior to a lot of recent horror movies. Less gore, more scare!

Don't like any of these suggestions? Check out Alley Cat Scratch. It's the best site for Halloween-y things to do in Southern California.

Have FUN!

Halloween activities around SoCal

If you're living in Southern California, you know there's no shortage of scary Halloween activities this year. But which ones are worth sitting in traffic? Starting with the best, here are my favorites:

#1 Universal Horror Nights (Hollywood)

This haunt has the best production - what else would you expect from a movie magic company? I highly recommend doing the tram tour first. The trams will drop you off in the middle of chainsaw-wielding clowns, a hideous plane crash, and the Psycho house. The uneven terrain and lack of lighting really add to the fear. It's like a monster free-for-all. Some of the mazes are not as strong, but all have fantastic decor and will assault all of your senses. My only complaint is that they really pack people into the mazes; many scares will go to the people in front of and behind you. Check out a longer review here. Tickets range from $35-$56 depending on the day, but they also offer a front-of-the-line pass. Lines get long, so if you can afford it, it's worth it.


#2 Night of the Living Dead at Maverick Theater (Fullerton)

As Homer once said, I love legitimate theater. The only word to describe this play is AWESOME. They do a great job of staying true to the movie - everything about this play is fun and perfect. There are many genuine scares, some painfully ear-splitting screaming, and enough surprises to keep even a non-zombie fan engrossed. This year they're doing a science fiction double feature with NOTLD and Rocky Horror. I haven't had a chance to see Rocky yet, but if it's half as good as NOTLD it will be entertaining. $19 for a single ticket/$30 for the double feature. It's worth every penny.


#3 Sinister Pointe Haunt (Brea)

This year features two mazes - Silent Hill and Fear. This production lacks the glossy, high-budget of Universal, but makes up for it with passion. Both of these mazes are well thought out and work in many scares. The lines are long, so you might want to opt for a front-of-the-line pass, but the wait is worth it. They only allow a few people in at a time so you really get the feeling that you're all alone with the monsters. Having never played Silent Hill, I probably missed a lot of the story behind the decor, but I still enjoyed it. Fear is an interactive maze, meaning that you have to complete tasks to move on. There are even some areas where they will split up your group and you'll each have a different experience. I don't want to spoil any surprises, but I'll just say that I screamed louder and harder from one particular scare than I ever have in my life. The scream was followed by my pounding heart and a lot of expletives. Nice job, pigface! Do both mazes - tickets are $20/$30 for the front-of-the-line pass. Support your local haunts and buy a souvenir photo too.



#4 Haunted Hayride (Calabasas)

This was a fun, but somewhat pricey evening. I felt tickets were a little expensive for 15 minutes of scare. The decorations were great - the small carnival that they put on is straight out of a horror movie. Masked ice-scream vendors, singing disembodied heads, and purple and orange tents really add to the spooky feel of the fair. Guests are loaded on to a hay-lined trailer and towed by tractor. We found out first-hand what happens when the mental hospital patients go missing. The theme didn't always make sense, but there were some good scares and a lot of really dedicated monsters. There was a lot to see including a headless motorcyclist and a truly scary circus. After the 15-20 minute hayride you can go on a ghost story walk. We opted to hang around the carnival and watch the magic show. The blundering magician and his lovely assistant kept us entertained, but I think the show was lost on many of the people at the fair. This is the hayride's first year, and I have no doubt that next year will be even better. Hayride-only tickets are $20-25, Hayride and Ghost Story tickets are $35, VIP tickets are $65. Longer review + ghost story tour here.


#5 Knott's Halloween Haunt (Buena Park)

Knott's Scary Farm is an annual tradition for many other people in Southern California, and I think this was one of their better years, but it doesn't compare to other haunts. The Dia de los Muertos and Terror of London mazes were two of the strongest new offerings that I can recall, but the detail and quality doesn't compare to Universal. Because they, like Universal, pack people into the mazes to keep them moving, the scares don't measure up to those at Sinister Pointe. If you're a die-hard yearly visitor like me, you'll go anyway, but if you're choosing just one haunt to visit this year, opt for Universal. I love Knott's like an old friend, and I will continue to attend their haunts, but walking through mazes like the terrible Uncle Bobo's Big Top of the Bizarre is just disappointing. If you're going to go, I recommend the Pre-Scare dinner for their haunted boo-fet, and the ability to enter the park a half hour early. Tickets are $39.99-$49.99, Boo-fet tickets are $25.00

There are other haunts that we didn't get to like the Queen Mary Shipwreck in Long Beach, the Backwoods Maze in Burbank, or The Empty Grave in Anaheim.

For a fun, but not-so-scary activity, check out the review of Disneyland's Happiest Haunts tour.

Only 7 days until HALLOWEEN!

Classic horror movie box set

Just got this awesome box set from the Great Pumpkin! As some of the reviewers have said the sound and picture quality are bad in spots, but it's to be expected from movies that are 50-70 years old. For only $12, it's worth it to have some of these movies in your collection. Click the link for the full list of titles.

There's a good mix of classics like Night of the Living Dead and The House on Haunted Hill, and a few that I look forward to watching for the first time like Swamp Women and The Giant Gilla Monster.

Vic Mizzy has died

Vic Mizzy died yesterday. You might not know his name, but you know his work:




My two other favorite items from his body of work are the Green Acres song, and the score for one of my favorite movies, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken.



Atta boy, Vic*!

*If you get that, you're a dork (like me)

Disneyland's Happiest Haunts Tour - Review

Mr. O'Lantern and I have been busy ravenously consuming Halloween activities - it's been great! So far we've done Knott's, Universal, the stage production of Night of the Living Dead, a Haunted Hayride, and, most recently, the Happiest Haunts Tour of Disneyland.


Oogie Boogie decides on your prize at the Haunted Mansion Holiday


If you're a Disneyland fan, I highly recommend the Happiest Haunts walking tour. It is a bit pricey at $64 per person (does not include park admission; discount available for APs), but it was SO BUSY at Disneyland on Sunday that it was worth every penny to not have to wait in lines.


Hunting for paranormal activity in California Adventure

The tour begins with your Ghostbuster-esque guide explaining his ghost hunting equipment and handing out an EVP (electronic voice phenomenon) device to each person. The devices are really just headsets so that you can better hear the guides, and they don't work that well - I ended up hiding mine in my purse until the end of the tour.

The “ghost noise” hunt took us to the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror in California Adventure where our group filled an entire elevator. After the ride our second guide – a haunting lady - took over and a told us a few stories about the origins of Halloween. Each guide had a distinct personality and they were VERY dedicated to their characters. Taking this tour will get you on Tower of Terror, Big Thunder Mountain, Space Mountain, and Haunted Mansion Holiday. I felt a little guilty about cutting in front of the long lines, but a friend said he was loving all the hate he was feeling since he paid so much for it – ha!


A Dio de los Muertos display in Frontierland

The guides kept switching off, bringing a different feel to each part of the tour. Some of it is a little corny, but it’s always fun, and NO LINES! There’s about an hour between the end of the tour and the start of the verbosely-titled "Halloween Screams: A Villainous Surprise in the Sky!". There is a special fireworks viewing area roped off for the tour guests. They call it an obstructed view since there are trees in front of the castle, but not having to camp out to catch a glimpse of the ghost dog is worth a lesser view. The fireworks were really cool – huge plumes of fire shoot from the castle, Zero hovers around in the sky, and all the best villains come out to play. The music was a little cheesy, but it is Disneyland, so cheesy fireworks music is to be expected. The castle looked lovely painted in spooky light – possibly my favorite fireworks experience yet.


Blinking necklaces identify the tour

The tour promises a haunting keepsake for each guest of the tour. Our first gifts were crazy blinking green necklaces – I think we wore them so tour members could easily be found in the crowds, but they also worked well for making little kids beg their parents for a toy. At the end of each necklace is a “Ghost Relations” key that looks like it might fit a door at the Tower of Terror Hotel. Later we were also given a note of thanks from our guide, and a marshmallow rice crispy treat in the shape of an apple (though it really looked more like a pumpkin or a tomato). No picture, because I devoured mine for breakfast the next day (a healthy choice).


My key and invitation to the fireworks

If you want to see the Disneyland and California Adventure parks decorated for Halloween, but you don’t want to spend hours in line, I recommend this tour. It is about 3 hours long with no food or restroom breaks; go prepared. Call Disneyland to book your tour. We made our reservations about two weeks in advance.