Pumpkin bacon-and-apple pasta (with cheese)

A friend recently shared this recipe for Butternut Squash Mac and Cheese with me, and a note of disbelief that anyone could like it. I said I thought it sounded delicious, and took her disgusted tone as a challenge. Game on.

When I heard the title of the recipe, I pictured apple, bacon, and cheese together. Yum! Then I pictured pasta and some pumpkiny goodness together. Yum! Then I read the recipe in full. Ew. Yes, it does sound like the proportions are all wrong to really be called "mac and cheese", and I decided my friend was absolutely right - who in their right mind would call a bowl full of squash puree "mac and cheese"?

Never mind that though, because remember? GAME ON. I must make this pasta, and I must make it taste good.

First, the recipe has some issues. In the last step - surprise! Put bacon on things. Well, where the hell does the bacon come from? Am I supposed to just have cooked bacon on hand? How can a half cup of cheese added at the end really give the dish any cheesy flavor? Here's what I came up with:

Pumpkin bacon-and-apple pasta (with cheese)

Ingredients

6 slices bacon

1 thinly sliced yellow onion

8 ounces pasta (I used fusilli)

1 cup pumpkin puree

scant 1/2 cup chicken broth (heated)

1/4 cup milk (heated)

1 ounce Pumpkin Spice Cream cheese

1 tart apple, chopped

1 generous cup freshly-shredded cheddar cheese (I used sharp)

1/4 cup freshly-shredded Parmesan cheese

Saigon cinnamon

Freshly-grated nutmeg

Paprika

Salt

Pepper

Method

-While the pasta water is coming to a boil, add the bacon to a (separate) cold pan. Turn frequently until thoroughly cooked. Crumble the bacon.

-Add thin onion slices to leftover bacon grease (about 1T, drain anything additional). Lightly season with cinnamon and salt. Stir frequently until browned. Cook pasta during this time.

-Add chicken broth, milk, pumpkin puree, cream cheese, and shredded cheeses (reserving a few bits for garnish) to pan. Stir until incorporated.

-Add cooked pasta, and mix.

-Season to taste with salt, pepper, paprika, a little cinnamon, nutmeg, then add apple and bacon.

-Warm through, then serve, garnishing with additional cheese, apple, and bacon.

Mr. O'Lantern and I both liked this dish - it's a warming Autumn meal that isn't heavy. I like the salty flavor of the bacon mixed with the juicy bits of apple in the mishmash of pumpkin flavor. It does have notes of cheese, but mostly from the Parmesan and not from the cheddar. The cheddar works primarily to add saltiness and to give the sauce some texture beyond the graininess of the pumpkin. It would definitely be smoother with butternut squash.

It's NOT macaroni and cheese - like I said before it is pumpkin bacon-and-apple pasta (with cheese). My punctuation does not exaggerate. If you want a cheesy dish, this is not for you.

Side note: Original recipe writer, I'm so sorry. I appreciate your efforts, obviously. But you lied about it being macaroni and cheese, so...you know. If you want to take shots at my work, here's a good start: my worst, only-I-like-it recipe.