Link Dump - Christmas week

Hopefully your Christmas shopping is done, and you're looking forward to Santa's arrival. Here's a mish-mash of stuff to keep you entertained for several seconds:



Captain EO is returning to Disneyland in 2010 - rejoice! I can't wait to see Anjelica Houston, that bumbling Hooter, and pre-icky Michael Jackson again.

This nightmarish sand sculpture might keep you up at night. I have no info about it, but I can tell you that I now fear sand in new and non crotch-related ways.

Martha Stewart eats In-and-Out, just like all the other smart people you know.

The Evolution of the Hipster hits you where it hurts, you fauxhemian you.



This disturbing finger food will be a hit at your Christmas or New Year's party.

Pee-Wee's Christmas special is streaming online. If you're feeling nostalgic, and you're high, it's perfect for you, maaaan.

It's okay to laugh at this poor girl who cries after watching Return of the Jedi. "But...what about R22222? *sniff*"

Finally, get a whiff of these gingerbread zombie cookies inspired by Left 4 Dead 2, my current obsession.


I'm off to Vegas for a non-traditional Christmas [good food and the pinball hall of fame] - can't wait!

Christmas movies that don't make me wanna puke

I kind of hate a lot of Christmas movies. Most of them make my Grinchy heart grow two sizes smaller. Singing carols, faux family harmony, and the oh-my-gosh-that-was-Santa! ending all make me want to punch someone. So here's the list of movies that I'll be watching over the next week:



1) Die Hard. I love the Die Hard movies, and Bruce Willis in general. While the movie isn't Christmas-themed, it does take place during a Christmas party and it is awesome. Stuff blows up, Bruce Willis kicks ass and saves Christmas (and lives). Also, I really like Reginald VelJohnson for some reason, so I'm always happy to watch him.



2) Batman Returns. Tim Burton, I love you. If I could live in Gotham during Christmas time, I would. Catwoman is delightfully...catty (I'm sorry), and Danny DeVito is awesome and gross as always.



3) The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tim Burton, I really love you. Nightmare has gotten overexposed in the last few years (Jack Skellington is my homie t-shirts. Really.), but it really is a Christmas movie more than a Halloween movie.



4) Gremlins. It scared the bejeebus out of me when I was a kid, but I'm a big girl now and I want my own Gremlin. But when I get bored with it, I will totally feed it after midnight. Chaos, you are invited into my life.



5) How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Dr. Seuss, Chuck Jones, and Boris Karloff - that's it. That's all you need. Okay, this movie warms my heart a little; I love the sad dog, and those brave little Whos in Whoville.



6) Bad Santa. Everyone in the movie is an asshole except for the kid who might just be really stupid. This movie makes me even more misanthropic, and that's what I look for in a good Christmas movie.


7) Scrooged. I've seen this so many times, it's lost some magic for me, but it's still a good take on a boring Christmas classic.


8) Go. This movie is so painfully 90s, but it does take place on Christmas Eve, and the plot revolves around a drug deal gone-looong. It's not the best movie ever, but it's better than a second viewing of "Painfully Cheerful Christmas Special with Character Stereotypes for Kids"

There's one more that I know I'm missing, but all this talk of Christmas is making me need to kick something, so I'm going to go take care of that.

Christmas Crumpet (the elf)

A few weeks ago I blogged about some Christmas activities around Southern California. I'm pleased to report that both were a lot of fun!

First up: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton. This was a lot different than Night of the Living Dead since they took a "serious" movie and turned it into a slapstick, screwball comedy, but it was really silly and enjoyable. Victor Stiles, the man who played Billy in the original movie, was there to talk about his experience making the movie back in 1964. He said that he likes the play at the Maverick a lot better than the film. For me, half the fun was looking at the set, props, and costumes and trying to figure out how it was made. Complex machines were made from Christmas decorations and 5 gallon buckets, and the robot was made from silver insulating fabric and washing machine hoses. After the play, I even got my picture taken with Santa and all his new Martian friends. (ooh, spoiler alert! Sorry about that.)


Next: David Sedaris' SantaLand Diaries at the Blank Theater in West Hollywood.


This was my first time at the Blank Theater, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was a very intimate setting, but it didn't feel cramped. We got there early, so we got to sit in the front row, and at one point I was treated to David/Crumpet the Elf/Blisters the Elf screaming just a foot away my face - it was terrifying! Nicholas Brendon did a good job of channeling that deadpan David Sedaris charm, and he really worked on that stage. Wearing a ridiculous costume of candy cane-striped pantyhose, green velvet shorts and jacket, and a velvet hat, he showed us all the terrible and undignified things that happen when working as an elf in a busy department store. I was burned by a horrible one-man show in the past (though I won't mention which one), so I was really apprehensive about this show, but Brendon is definitely worth seeing.

SantaLand Diaries is a good show for people who like sarcastic, dry humor, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is good for kids, and people who like over-the-top silliness. Either way, I think you'll have a good time. Get your tickets for either one and let me know what you think!

Things from Sandy Claw's list

I love to shop for gifts, but I hate to be out amongst humanity...especially the kind of humanity that argues over parking spots at a busy mall. Almost all of my shopping is done online, so here are a few spooky, macabre, or odd things that would be perfect for your weird friends. If you're an Amazon prime member like me, you'll get free shipping on most of the items on this list.


Photo from an Amazon reviewer.

Got a vampire fan on your list? Check out this Dracula pop-up book. It's less than $20! Done in the style of a graphic novel, this pop-up book is based on Bram Stoker. It happens to be on my own wish-list this year. Cough.

Vampire fans will also appreciate a set of Vampire Poetry Magnets - only $12, and you don't need a membership to get free shipping.



Every pirate fan should have their own Dread Pirate game. I've never personally had the pleasure of winning, but I do enjoy the little sack of treasure, and plundering enemy ships.




If you know a fan of creepy murderesses, get them a copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle. I just finished it, and I really recommend it. It's a very quick read, so you're not committing your friend to a 400 page brick, and I think anyone who likes dark themes would appreciate the beautiful writing.




If your friend likes robots, why not get him something practical like this mini robot vacuum cleaner, or this Roomba robot vacuum. Both are cute, both are helpful, and both have the potential to become sentient and take over the world.



Get your favorite gloomy person their own deck of unhappiness. Gloom is one of my favorite games - the art is cool, the transparent cards make the game unique, and the game changes a little with the many expansion packs.



If you're shopping for a zombie fan - rejoice! There are roughly a million things you can gift them with. Here are a few of my personal favorites.


A medkit shirt from Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2. Lovelovelove this game, and this shirt is super cool.


Mall of Horror is a game that has you escaping a horde of zombies in a zombie-infested shopping mall. It's similar to actual Christmas shopping, but you'll get to screw your friends over by forcing them out from safe rooms. Game play takes a while, so it's not fast-paced like Gloom, but it's still fun.


Perhaps your friend gets the vapors at the very thought of those unmentionable creatures. If you think Jane Austin is tedious, you might enjoy this mash-up called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I wish there was a way to combine Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth. Yeah...that'd be nice.