Captain EO Tribute - Review

I said that my review of the Captain EO Tribute wouldn’t be up until next week, but yesterday I got impatient and made the trip to Disneyland.

There was no wait for Captain EO (Thanks for the tip, MouseWait!) so we walked right up, got our glasses and started watching the pre-show. The pre-show is supposed to be a behind-the-scenes look at Captain EO, but it looks more like a Hall & Oates music video crashed into an Olivia Newton John song. Cheesy, cheesy music combined with legwarmers (on the backup dancers) and bushy mustaches (George Lucas and Francis Ford Coppola). It was exciting hearing the old music again, and it was nice to be back at the “Magic Eye Theater” instead of whatever it was called during Honey, I Shrunk the Audience. (I'm not a Honey fan, sorry!)



On to the show – Captain EO is still great. It is a little corny and the effects are a little rough in comparison to what we see today, but the story is simple, concise, and entertaining. I actually got a little emotional seeing Hooter, the Fuzzball, the robots Major and Minor Domo, and the two headed Muppet things Idey and Ody. I have so many memories of them as a kid! How many opportunities do you get to truly re-live your childhood favorites?

Warning: minor spoilers ahoy! Major spoilers for EO virgins.

Because the theater has been updated since Captain EO last played in 1997, they included some of the newer capabilities into the movie. During the space scenes, “lightning” and other effects flash around the room. When Hooter trumpets, the fans in front of your face blow to make you feel that he’s sneezed in your face. The most noticeable new effect though is the movement of the room. I thought that they did a really good job integrating the room movement during the space scenes – it made me feel more like I was a part of the show. But then, inexplicably, the room moved constantly during the music/dance scenes. The room was heaving up and down with every beat of the music and it was just distracting. I thought it would end rather quickly, but it just kept going throughout all of the music to the point where I started to feel a little seasick. I really thought that it detracted from the overall experience. And I believe that some of the original effects were not in this version. Maybe some of the older folks can comment on that because I was a dumb teenager the last time I saw the original show.

The story is more simplistic than I remember, and I think that’s a good thing. There’s only so much they can pack into a 15 minute movie. Basically, Captain EO and his team are on the outs with whatever organization they belong to, but they’ve been given a mission to find a beacon, find the Supreme Leader, and deliver “The Gift”. They find their beacon in space, but predictably, things go wrong, and they meet the Supreme Leader’s less-than-friendly minions. Captain EO uses his magical, music-driven abilities to turn the drone/soldier types into attractive back-up dancers. The robot turns himself into a full band, but Hooter bungles the keyboard thing and two of the more powerful soldiers approach. It looks like EO is done-for, but little Fuzzball ties the guards’ whips together and this gives EO the opportunity to transform them into backup dancers too (yeah, I told you it’s a little cheesy). The Supreme Leader is now transformed by “The Gift” into a colorful Anjelica Huston; she looks a little like the evil twin genie from I Dream Of Jeanie. Captain EO moonwalks, crotch grabs, and generally dances his way out of the castle (?) and the Supreme Leader is (presumably) better than she was when she was a scary claw monster. And the music is still good! I mean, it’s not MJ’s finest work, but I still liked the “Another Part of Me” song quite a bit. And he was so adorable at the time of filming! Like I said earlier, this was before his plastic surgery got really extreme, and before all the gross rumors of his personal life came to light.



I’m not sure how long the tribute will be around – there was no line yesterday, and there were only a few hardcore MJ fans in the audience. It seemed like most were Passholes (like me) or lucky tourists who just happened upon the Magic Eye Theater. Even if it’s just around for a few months, I’ll probably go see it again before it gets transformed back into the tired Honey, I Shrunk the Audience show. If it stays around too long, I think people will forget about it as they did the first time.

Overall, Captain EO has held up very well, and I think it's worth a trip to Disneyland for the side-trip down memory lane.

Captain EO returns to spread awesomeness

Today was the opening day for the re-launch of Captain EO at Disneyland! If you have never seen it, I think it's worth a trip to Disneyland.



Of course, I haven't seen it since it closed in 1997, but it was released when Michael Jackson was still a huge star without the creep factor. He was young, he'd had limited plastic surgery and skin lightening, and he was a-dorable! Anjelica Huston is the scary princess, and the short film was directed by Francis Ford Coppola, and it is in glorious 3D!



Actually, I remember the 3D being fairly crappy, but it is a very good show with some really good (if not slightly cheesy) music, dancing, and costumes. Plus, you get to spend some time at Disneyland! Woo! I'll be hitting the park next week for my Captain EO fix, and I'll be sure to report back.

Happy New Year!

Here are a few gifts I received over the holidays:

The Complete Manual of Things That Might Kill You: A Guide to Self-Diagnosis for Hypochondriacs. Enjoyable because when I'm convinced that I will die, I like to know how I'm going to go out. It hasn't happened yet, but this book will come in handy some day, I'm sure.




Last Night on Earth - the Zombie board game. My game collection consists of Simpson-ized versions of classic board games, and spooky games, so I'm only too happy to have this (somewhat nerdy) Zombie game.

Link Dump - Christmas week

Hopefully your Christmas shopping is done, and you're looking forward to Santa's arrival. Here's a mish-mash of stuff to keep you entertained for several seconds:



Captain EO is returning to Disneyland in 2010 - rejoice! I can't wait to see Anjelica Houston, that bumbling Hooter, and pre-icky Michael Jackson again.

This nightmarish sand sculpture might keep you up at night. I have no info about it, but I can tell you that I now fear sand in new and non crotch-related ways.

Martha Stewart eats In-and-Out, just like all the other smart people you know.

The Evolution of the Hipster hits you where it hurts, you fauxhemian you.



This disturbing finger food will be a hit at your Christmas or New Year's party.

Pee-Wee's Christmas special is streaming online. If you're feeling nostalgic, and you're high, it's perfect for you, maaaan.

It's okay to laugh at this poor girl who cries after watching Return of the Jedi. "But...what about R22222? *sniff*"

Finally, get a whiff of these gingerbread zombie cookies inspired by Left 4 Dead 2, my current obsession.


I'm off to Vegas for a non-traditional Christmas [good food and the pinball hall of fame] - can't wait!

Christmas movies that don't make me wanna puke

I kind of hate a lot of Christmas movies. Most of them make my Grinchy heart grow two sizes smaller. Singing carols, faux family harmony, and the oh-my-gosh-that-was-Santa! ending all make me want to punch someone. So here's the list of movies that I'll be watching over the next week:



1) Die Hard. I love the Die Hard movies, and Bruce Willis in general. While the movie isn't Christmas-themed, it does take place during a Christmas party and it is awesome. Stuff blows up, Bruce Willis kicks ass and saves Christmas (and lives). Also, I really like Reginald VelJohnson for some reason, so I'm always happy to watch him.



2) Batman Returns. Tim Burton, I love you. If I could live in Gotham during Christmas time, I would. Catwoman is delightfully...catty (I'm sorry), and Danny DeVito is awesome and gross as always.



3) The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tim Burton, I really love you. Nightmare has gotten overexposed in the last few years (Jack Skellington is my homie t-shirts. Really.), but it really is a Christmas movie more than a Halloween movie.



4) Gremlins. It scared the bejeebus out of me when I was a kid, but I'm a big girl now and I want my own Gremlin. But when I get bored with it, I will totally feed it after midnight. Chaos, you are invited into my life.



5) How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Dr. Seuss, Chuck Jones, and Boris Karloff - that's it. That's all you need. Okay, this movie warms my heart a little; I love the sad dog, and those brave little Whos in Whoville.



6) Bad Santa. Everyone in the movie is an asshole except for the kid who might just be really stupid. This movie makes me even more misanthropic, and that's what I look for in a good Christmas movie.


7) Scrooged. I've seen this so many times, it's lost some magic for me, but it's still a good take on a boring Christmas classic.


8) Go. This movie is so painfully 90s, but it does take place on Christmas Eve, and the plot revolves around a drug deal gone-looong. It's not the best movie ever, but it's better than a second viewing of "Painfully Cheerful Christmas Special with Character Stereotypes for Kids"

There's one more that I know I'm missing, but all this talk of Christmas is making me need to kick something, so I'm going to go take care of that.

Christmas Crumpet (the elf)

A few weeks ago I blogged about some Christmas activities around Southern California. I'm pleased to report that both were a lot of fun!

First up: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians at the Maverick Theater in Fullerton. This was a lot different than Night of the Living Dead since they took a "serious" movie and turned it into a slapstick, screwball comedy, but it was really silly and enjoyable. Victor Stiles, the man who played Billy in the original movie, was there to talk about his experience making the movie back in 1964. He said that he likes the play at the Maverick a lot better than the film. For me, half the fun was looking at the set, props, and costumes and trying to figure out how it was made. Complex machines were made from Christmas decorations and 5 gallon buckets, and the robot was made from silver insulating fabric and washing machine hoses. After the play, I even got my picture taken with Santa and all his new Martian friends. (ooh, spoiler alert! Sorry about that.)


Next: David Sedaris' SantaLand Diaries at the Blank Theater in West Hollywood.


This was my first time at the Blank Theater, and I was pleasantly surprised. It was a very intimate setting, but it didn't feel cramped. We got there early, so we got to sit in the front row, and at one point I was treated to David/Crumpet the Elf/Blisters the Elf screaming just a foot away my face - it was terrifying! Nicholas Brendon did a good job of channeling that deadpan David Sedaris charm, and he really worked on that stage. Wearing a ridiculous costume of candy cane-striped pantyhose, green velvet shorts and jacket, and a velvet hat, he showed us all the terrible and undignified things that happen when working as an elf in a busy department store. I was burned by a horrible one-man show in the past (though I won't mention which one), so I was really apprehensive about this show, but Brendon is definitely worth seeing.

SantaLand Diaries is a good show for people who like sarcastic, dry humor, and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is good for kids, and people who like over-the-top silliness. Either way, I think you'll have a good time. Get your tickets for either one and let me know what you think!

Things from Sandy Claw's list

I love to shop for gifts, but I hate to be out amongst humanity...especially the kind of humanity that argues over parking spots at a busy mall. Almost all of my shopping is done online, so here are a few spooky, macabre, or odd things that would be perfect for your weird friends. If you're an Amazon prime member like me, you'll get free shipping on most of the items on this list.


Photo from an Amazon reviewer.

Got a vampire fan on your list? Check out this Dracula pop-up book. It's less than $20! Done in the style of a graphic novel, this pop-up book is based on Bram Stoker. It happens to be on my own wish-list this year. Cough.

Vampire fans will also appreciate a set of Vampire Poetry Magnets - only $12, and you don't need a membership to get free shipping.



Every pirate fan should have their own Dread Pirate game. I've never personally had the pleasure of winning, but I do enjoy the little sack of treasure, and plundering enemy ships.




If you know a fan of creepy murderesses, get them a copy of We Have Always Lived in the Castle. I just finished it, and I really recommend it. It's a very quick read, so you're not committing your friend to a 400 page brick, and I think anyone who likes dark themes would appreciate the beautiful writing.




If your friend likes robots, why not get him something practical like this mini robot vacuum cleaner, or this Roomba robot vacuum. Both are cute, both are helpful, and both have the potential to become sentient and take over the world.



Get your favorite gloomy person their own deck of unhappiness. Gloom is one of my favorite games - the art is cool, the transparent cards make the game unique, and the game changes a little with the many expansion packs.



If you're shopping for a zombie fan - rejoice! There are roughly a million things you can gift them with. Here are a few of my personal favorites.


A medkit shirt from Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2. Lovelovelove this game, and this shirt is super cool.


Mall of Horror is a game that has you escaping a horde of zombies in a zombie-infested shopping mall. It's similar to actual Christmas shopping, but you'll get to screw your friends over by forcing them out from safe rooms. Game play takes a while, so it's not fast-paced like Gloom, but it's still fun.


Perhaps your friend gets the vapors at the very thought of those unmentionable creatures. If you think Jane Austin is tedious, you might enjoy this mash-up called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I wish there was a way to combine Pride and Prejudice and Zombies with Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth. Yeah...that'd be nice.